Am I Just A Memory
by Gia369
Summary: Things can change in a year and a half. Emotions are no different. So what happens when two people are reunited after being apart for nearly two years? Nara Shikamaru x Original Character


**[Nara]Am-I-Just-A-Memory?[Naruto]One-Shot[Shikamaru]**

_This may never start.__  
__We could fall apart.__  
__And I'd be your memory._

* * *

Yakushiro was holding tightly to the straps of her backpack, her hands shaking. She and her companion stopped before a large double-door gate made of a heavy wood. Rain was falling heavily around them as the older boy stated their names and business. They waited for the gates to open.

**- "Scared Yaku-chan?" -****  
**

She looked up at her elder brother, standing only inches taller than herself but otherwise looking much like her mirror image. His dark red hair that was normally unruly clung to the sides of his face, water dripping from the longer clumped strands that fell past him cheeks. His dark green eyes looked down at her, reflecting the delicate and sincere smile he had on his face. Her own hair reached just past her shoulders, but aside from that they looked like twins in every which way.

**- "Only a little bit... Raito-nii-chan..." -** she murmured out as the gate was finally opened, revealing a stone path that branched off many times. She looked through the gates at the dimly lit streets and all of the building and houses visible from their current positions. She had been waiting to return to this village for nearly two years now. Konohagakure no Sato, the Village Hidden in the Leaves.

**- "There isn't anything to be worried about, Yaku-chan!" -** Raito said, attempting to cheer her up. - "I'm sure he'll be more than happy to see you!" -

**- "Yeah... Maybe he will..." -** she grumbled, letting out a sigh and walking with her head down, millions of thoughts running through her mind.

Lost your sense of fear.  
Feelings insincere.  
Can I be your memory?

* * *

**~[ ]~ Start of Memory ~[ ]~ Twelve Years Old ~[ ]~**

**- "Shikamaru-kun! Oi! SHIKA-KUUUUN!" -** Yakushiro called childishly, looking at the lazy boy lying in the grass. She raised an eyebrow, a teasing smile making its way to her lips. Shikamaru opened one eye, looking up at his friend lazily.

**- "Nani... Shiro-chan?" -** he asked, a whiny sort of laziness to his voice. The girl pouted in an immature fashion, folding her arms in front of her chest and plopping down on the grass beside her best friend.

**- "Lets go and do somethiiiiing, Shika-kuuuuuun!"** - she whined, looking down at Shikamaru with a very bored look on her face, sighing. She knew his inevitable reply, but she couldn't help but hope for a different outcome.

**- "Lets watch the clouds." -** he suggested, resting one arm behind his head, the other stretched out beside him. She had known that would be his answer, as this was his all time favorite thing to do. She sighed, admitting defeat on the subject, and stretched out on the grass next to him, head resting on his outstretched arm. She studied the morning sky quietly for little over an hour before she just couldn't take it anymore.

**- "Shika-kun... you're boring." -** she mumbled, rolling onto her side to face Shikamaru. He did the same, rolling onto his side to face her, a smile blooming across his features.

**- "But..?" -** he questioned softly, looking her in the eyes. Without giving it any thought, Yakushiro closed her eyes and gave Shikamaru a gentle kiss.

**- "But... that's one thing I like about you." -** she said after pulling away, a soft smile on her face.

**~[ ]~ End of Memory ~[ ]~**

* * *

_So get back, back, back to where we lasted.__  
__Just like I imagine.__  
__I could never feel this way.__  
_

* * *

**- "Just unpack your things and get some sleep. It's going to be a big day tomorrow." -** Raito said as they entered their new home. The two of them walked up the stairs towards the bedrooms.

**- "Hai, brother." -** she said, walking into her room and closing the door behind her. She dropped her backpack onto the bed and began rummaging through its contents. She put the clothes she had in the dresser and put her shinobi gear and other items in the proper locations.

When she got to the bottom of the bag she felt a very familiar rectangular object. She smiled as she pulled out the picture frame, holding it close before standing it up on her night table. She pulled her photo book out of the bag and put it in the drawer of the night table before tossing the now empty bag into the corner.

**- "Just one more night... Shika-kun..." -** she said, looking at the framed picture of the two of them. Shikamaru had snuck up on her as her brother was getting ready to take a picture. He had wrapped his arms around her and she had looked up at him, a huge grin on both of their faces.  
Yakushiro smiled at the memory before turning off her light and going to sleep.

* * *

_So get back, back, back to the disaster.__  
__My heart's beating faster.__  
__Holding on to feel the same.__  
_

* * *

Morning came much more quickly than Yakushiro would have ever imagined. The sunlight shining through her window woke her from her dreams. She got up, glanced at the photo on the side table, and headed to the bathroom to take a shower. When she was done she slipped into a pair of loose black pants and a dark red shirt, with her black sandals and her black banded headband tied loosely around her neck. She strapped on her kunai and shuriken holster, attached her two katana sheaths to her belt, and pulled on her black jacket.  
She ate the breakfast her brother had left for her before heading out of the house and down the street towards the Jonin meeting, to which she had no choice but attend. Throughout the walk, her mind was plagued by thought after thought, all of which centered, somehow or another, around Shikamaru.

_- 'What if he doesn't remember me? What if he isn't even here? What if he's mad that I left the way I did? What if he... moved on and found someone else..?' -_ she thought. As those questions continued she shook her head violently, trying to rid herself of such things.

Looking back though, Yakushiro had thought about Shikamaru every day since she left.

* * *

_This may never start.__  
__I'll tear us apart.__  
__Cannot be your enemy.__  
_

* * *

**~[ ]~ Start of Memory ~[ ]~ Fourteen and a Half Years Old ~[ ]~**

Yakushiro and Shikamaru were sitting on a bench beneath a Sakura tree. It was a beautiful day, but the usually happy Yakushiro wasn't even smiling.

**- "What's wrong Shiro-chan?" -** Shikamaru asked softly. A few tears slid down the girls cheeks.

**- "Sh...Shika-kun..?" -** she called out lightly, causing him to look over at her, a confused look on his face.

**- "What is it?" -** he asked. She looked down at the grass beneath their feet, trying to hide her face from him.

**- "Say I were to leave one day... what would you do?" -** she questioned. Her heart was beating rapidly and her mind raced with the different responses she could get from him.

**- "Depends," -** he said, tilting his head slightly, a puzzled look on his face. **- "How long would you be gone for?" -** The girl shook her head lightly, looking up at him with watery green eyes, frowning.

**- "And what if I said I didn't know how long?" -** she inquired. Shikamaru's eyes locked with hers and a small smile made its way to his lips.

**- "I'd wait for you Shiro-chan." -** he said softly.

**~[ ]~ End of Memory ~[ ]~****  
**

* * *

_Losing half a year.__  
__Waiting for you here__  
__I'd be your anything._

* * *

She entered the room, afraid to look around, and walked straight to the front of the room where a few higher level Jonin were standing. She didn't have to stay for long, all she had to do was register with those higher Jonin and then she could leave. She was quite glad for that.

One of the Jonin was already talking to the group of people sitting at the tables before him. She didn't bother listening to what was being said, it wasn't necessary for her to do so. Another of the high Jonin was standing at the desk she was heading towards.

She stood in front of the table at the front, looking up slightly at the silver haired shinobi. He looked back at her with a dark eye, the other hidden behind his headband. He slid the form across the table with a pen and then asked her to introduce herself to him.

**- "My name is Ken'Ichi Yakushiro. I became a Genin here, a Chunin here, and a Jonin in Sunagakure no Sato. As I have been away from the village for a year and a half, I understand that I will need to take both a written exam and a field test before I can call myself a Jonin of Konoha."** - she said, standing up straight and looking at the man before her.

**- "Well rehearsed. I will be your opponent during the field test, the written exam will not be needed. Welcome back to Konoha Yaku-san." -** he said, eye closing slightly due to a smile that could not be seen through his mask.

**- "Arigato Kakashi-sensei." -** she said, smiling up at him before being dismissed. She turned around and began walking towards the door, stopping dead in her tracks as her green eyes locked with a pair of dull-brown ones.

* * *

_So get back, back, back to where we lasted.__  
__Just like I imagine.__  
__I could never feel this way.__  
_

* * *

**~[ ]~ Start of Memory ~[ ]~ Fourteen and a Half Years Old ~[ ]~**

**- "Wait Shiro-chan!" -** Shikamaru called after Yakushiro. - **"You never told me why it is you're leaving." -****  
**

**- "I...I can't tell you why Shika-kun" -** she replied, stopping just inside the gates of the village, tears threatening to fall from her eyes and roll down her face.

**- "Why not Shiro-chan?" -** he asked, eyes full of sadness and concern. The girl's eyes only stung with more tears.

**- "Because... I don't know why myself. All I know is that I have to go with my brother." -** she said sadly, sniffling lightly.

**- "But..." -** he said, holding out a hand and stepping forward, a sad look on his face and a small frown upon his lips. **- "You'll come back won't you?" -**

A small smile spread across the girls face as she wrapped her arms around Shikamaru's neck. She nodded before kissing him gently on his lips.

**- "Sayonara, Shiro-chan." -** he said softly, holding her close to him for a moment before finally letting her go.

**- "Sayonara, Shika-kun." -** she whispered back to him, letting him go and turning to leave. **- "I promise I'll come back one day." -**she said as she walked through the gates.

**~[ ]~ End of Memory ~[ ]~****  
**

* * *

_So get back, back, back to the disaster.__  
__My heart's beating faster.__  
__Holding on to feel the same._

* * *

**- "Sh...Shikamaru-kun..." -** Yakushiro whispered, frozen in her tracts. Shikamaru was returning the stare from where he sat at one of the tables. The people sitting around Shikamaru looked at the girl too, but she took no notice of that.

**- "Shikamaru-kun? Yo, Shikamaru-kun?" -** the blonde girl asked, trying to get his attention, but he just stood there, looking at the girl.

_- 'I can't believe it's really him...' -_ Yakushiro thought, wondering above all else what he was thinking at this moment.

**- "Yo, Shikamaru-kun!" -** the blonde said, a bit more loudly, snapping Yakushiro out of her thoughts. She looked at the blonde girl who was sitting next to Shikamaru and immediately she assumed they were together now. Ino had always liked Shikamaru and had always hated that he was far more into Yakushiro.

Her eyes stung in a familiar way, tears prickling and forming behind her eyelids. Ino looked her dead in the eye, something between a smirk and a smile playing on her face. Yakushiro couldn't stay there anymore, she felt as if she couldn't breathe.

**- "I...I..." -** she stammered nervously, glancing at Shikamaru for a mere second. He looked shocked. She felt her heart quicken and within seconds she found herself running out of the room and down the hall.

**- "Shiro-chan!" -** was all she could here behind her.

* * *

_This may never start.__  
__Tearing out my heart.__  
__I'd be your memory._

* * *

Shikamaru's voice rang in Yakushiro's ears as she ran down the hall. As she was about to push her way out of the main doors she felt a grip on her wrist, a tight grip that pulled her to a stop. She turned on her heel to face whoever grabbed her, a pain stabbed through her heart when she laid eyes on him.

**- "Shika-kun..." -** she whimpered, looking up at Shikamaru. - _'What should I say? It's been a year and a half now... And it looked like Ino... She looked like she was gloating... So what do I do now?' -_ she thought.

* * *

_Lost your sense of fear.__  
__Feelings disappeared.__  
__Can I be your memory?__  
_

* * *

**- "I've been waiting for this day..." -** Shikamaru said, trailing off, looking down at Yakushiro.

**- "You... You waited f-for me?" -** the girl questioned, stuttering a bit, looking at the boy in disbelief.

**- "I told you I'd wait didn't I?" -** he said, turning away from her, looking down towards his feet. **- "I waited. You never came back..." -** he mentioned, voice solemn.

**- "G... Gomen-nasai..." -** she said, tears threatening to slip from her lids.

**- "I have just one question for you, Shiro-chan." -** Shikamaru said quietly. The girl looked up at him in shock and surprise.

**- "W-what is it?" -** she asked, ready for whatever he decided to ask of her. He turned back to face her, eyes locking. His eyes hadn't changed in the one and a half year absence, and he looked at her with the same expression he had back them.

**- "It's been a year and a half now..." -** he started. When the girl nodded, he continued. **- "Tell me Shiro-chan... How do you feel about me now?" -**

* * *

_So get back, back, back to where we lasted__  
__Just like I imagined__  
__I could never feel this way.__  
_

* * *

Yakushiro didn't want to answer the question. He had pointed out the time himself, a sign that he had quite possibly moved on with his life. She wanted desperately to crawl back into his arms, to tell him how much she missed him, to tell him that she loved him still.

She just couldn't bring herself to actually do it. There was no guarantee that he still felt that same way about her. There was a strong possibility that she would only ever be a fond memory to him, that she would never again be held in his arms.

Whenever she looked at Shikamaru, her mind flooded with the grand memories of the past. Times when she was happy. Times when she would spend all day with Shikamaru, watching the clouds. Times when she would have jumped into him arms, not having a care in the world.

* * *

_So get back, back, back to the disaster.__  
__My heart's beating faster.__  
__Holding on to feel the same.__  
_

* * *

**- "I..." -** Yakushiro started, unsure of what exactly to say, trying to find the correct words, the words that wanted to be said so badly. But the same question kept running through her mind, she kept asking herself how he would react**.****- "I don't know..." -** she finally said.

Shikamaru read the lie easily, as if it were written in bright colors across her forehead, as if a huge sign was behind her with the word 'lie' blinking in neon colors. Somehow he just knew how she really felt, and without giving it much though he leaned in towards her, his lips pressing gently to hers. She was shocked and confused and before she could respond he pulled away.

* * *

_This could never start.__  
__We could fall apart__  
__And I'd be your memory.__  
_

* * *

**- "Don't lie to me Shiro-chan. Just tell me... Just answer the question... Please."****-** Shikamaru said softly, begging in his own way.

**- "I still love you Shika-kun!" -** Yakushiro blurted out, unable to stop the words beforehand. She was worried out of her mind about what he would say to her. She couldn't help but remember that look on Ino's face when they had looked at each other.

**- "And I haven't stopped loving you, Shiro-chan." -** he said, stepping closer to her, placing his hands on her shoulders. She looked up at him, hands by her sides, happy of his reply but shocked nonetheless. He smiled down at her, leaning forward the slightest bit, eyes half closed. **- "I love you Shiro-chan!" -**

**- "I love you too, Shika-kun!" -** she said, smiling up at him. She closed her eyes and stood on her tiptoes, causing her own lips to mesh with his. It was a gentle kiss, one full of compassion. In this moment, she wanted nothing more than to stay like this. She wanted to be with Shikamaru forever.

She never wanted to be away from him.

* * *

_Lost your sense of fear.__  
__Feelings insincere.__  
__Can I be your memory?__  
_


End file.
